Sorry If I'm Being Selfish....

Truth to be told, I feel emotionally drained since the past few days. To those who came for me for advice, I am sorry if you guys think that I am not helping nor my advice to you doesn't seem to be the words of what you want to hear.

1st - I already think of what is the best to tell you in the nicest way, the nicest words I could think of before hit it on your faces with a more harsh, truthful words that I kept inside. I would answer "Yes" "No" instead of giving you a long lecture on how to overcome your problems is because I knew in the end you would only want me to listen instead of wanted to get some advice. You will NEVER follow what I told you, nor do I expected you to follow it anyway. What do you want me to say? Or is it you prefer me to cut you in the middle of the conversation and say "Listen here, you stupid idiot, don't you have any other things to do than bug me now? This simple problem also you don't know how to solve ah?!?" You pick.

2nd - When my answer seems brief, it doesn't mean that I am being insensitive. It means that I want you to think for yourselves what those simple, short answers meant. When I said "You'll be just fine." I meant it. I had my faith in you that you will be just okay if only you didn't waste too much time and energy thinking over it. Okay, want me to be honest? Here's the truth: The so called problem of yours are NOTHING. Means you think too much to make your mind complicated. When I said "You'll be just fine means there is no problem at all." There. Is that what you all want me to tell you?

3rd - I am not married...I am single, had broken relationships before so whatever you husband and wife's problem aren't supposed to be refer to me. Please. Get some married friends to tell you how to cope with it. I don't know why your husband is cranky. I don't know why he doesn't like your cooking. I don't want to hear you complaining how he bugs you with his attitudes that you can't accept because why then you start seeing this and complaining after tying the knot.

Sorry if all of you seems to get 'uninspired' advice from me lately. If you think that I am being selfish and all, it's up to you. If you think I am being mean, heartless person who was insensitive, uncaring friend, then it's okay.

Bear to remind this in your minds - before these, how many times did I asked from you all the same to be returned back to me? Did I ever even bug you and called you all and say "Nothing, I called just because I need someone to talk" without even asking if you are busy or not. Did anyone ever even bother to ask me how is my day before start yapping at me about your so called problems. Did any of you who starts to think me becoming a selfish person ever thinks that if I got my own problems to think of? Some of you didn't even spare 5 minutes for me to pour my heart out.

Sorry if I am being selfish for not able to tell you how pity I am because of you being sad over some certain things that been repeated over and over again;

Sorry if I am being selfish for giving you a simple, short answer instead of the long ones that you prefer to hear to kill your time;

Sorry if I am being selfish because I feel down myself and I can't attend to your bad moods;

Sorry if I am being selfish for not able to tell you things that you wanted to hear only;

Sorry if I am being selfish to spare some time just for me.

Just because I seem strong, doesn't mean that I have no weaknesses.
Just because I smiled outside doesn't mean that my heart never bleeds.
Just because I walked with my heads high doesn't mean I never stumbled and fell.
Just because when I seem not listening doesn't means I never care.

Think about it.

Paintball: UMS-KAL Paintball Open 2009 (04/10/2009)

After Woodsball in Karambunai on 03/10/2009, that very same night I was already in Beaufort with my brother, Tracy and the new technician in training, Sam spent the night at my late grandpa's house before continuing our journey to Labuan.

We resume back our journey on 04/10/2009 morning, arrived at Menumbok Ferry Terminal as early as 6am, hopefully to catch the first speedboat to Labuan. My brother was playing with his friends for the Labuan-UMSKAL Paintball Open 2009...so for the first time after quite sometime, I went there to WATCH (yes, you read it right...W.A.T.C.H.) paintball! (Consider this as a break for me from my normal duties in the field lah...hahahaha)


My brother's team, Hitman emerges as the Champion for the event, followed by Team Brotherhood, Team GHRT and Team Shooters as the 1st, 2nd, 3rd runner ups consecutively. For your info, some of the players are preparing themselves for the coming Paintball World Cup Asia 2009 which will be held at Xtion Paintball Park, Bukit Jalil, Kuala Lumpur on the 19th - 22nd November 2009.

Also, on the same weekend, Kuching has held their own Kuching Cup on the 2nd - 4th October as well and Sabah was proud to have 2 teams that won 3rd and 4th placing consecutively over there! Congratulations Team 3nity and Hoodlums too! It seems like this year, World Cup Asia will be seeing more teams from East Malaysia comparing with last year's participation.

Congratulations to all winners and also to other teams that didn't make it, better luck next time ya! Go! Go! Borneo Paintballers!

The Champion for UMS-KAL Paintball Open 2009

Team Hitman

1st Runner Up / 2nd place
Team Brotherhood

2nd Runner up/ 3rd place
Team GHRT

For more photos...as usual I had gotten the slideshow ready:

Woodsball in Karambunai 03/10/2009

I don't know what's wrong with the Facebook Advanced Uploader. It just won't upload the photos so I had to use the so called 'simple uploader' that only allows me to upload 5 photos at one time...thus delaying this post..sheesh...and as you all had always knew, normally my posts with photos involves almost 100 photos! Hahahaha...now you know why I'm using Slide.com =p

Anyway, here's the photo taken last weekend during the Woodsball game in Karambunai Lagoon Park. We had loads of fun, some rain in the afternoon but everyone seemed to enjoy day. Will definately be going there again! ^^

A Special Post For A Special Friend.

I still remember this chatty, talkative, friendly lady that I first met through online. One night it was kinda boring and then she messaged me "Come eh, let's go out yam char!" quite hesitated, but since I don't have much friends, I agreed. Gave her my phone number and my home address, 20 minutes later, she arrived. That night, our friendship is sealed after 3 hours conversations over hot mocha and cheesecakes.

I had to admit that I used to be not having that much confidence in myself, though I am trying to hard to be one that people normally see. But she changed it. She convinced that all women are beautiful from within and shines out. Even more beautiful when they had some makeovers over themselves. She showed me the way.

Truth is, I can't even remember the exact date and year since our friendship began. It feels like been so many years, yet sometimes it feels like it was only yesterday since we first met. But that doesn't matter. What matters most is, it was her friendship that is important to me. Someone who accept me for who I am, as much as I accept her for who she is. She shared my laughter and was there during the moments when I was down. She let me being just myself when I am around her, yet she will not hesitate to tell me directly if what I did is wrong, or what I was too blind to see. She'll do whatever she could to cheer me up and lift my spirit. She felt the injustice towards me when things seems not right for me. What else I would want for a friend?

Most of the time, she had given me more than what I could give to her. I wish you knew, my friend...that even though I never said it to you...just remember this...I am always grateful to have you as my friend. I am thankful for all that you had done to me...and believe me, I won't be being who I am today, if it wasn't for you who had given me all the advices you once told me.

For this special someone who is funny, outspoken, understanding, confident and beautiful...today is your special day. Happy birthday Kay! May you become more successful, all your wishes comes true, and more beautiful!


Happy Birthday Glitter Graphics

Lots of Love,
AngeLBeaR

Note: Kay is also running her own business in cosmetic products. To visit her page please visit:
http://www.mybeautyics.com/cart/

Just When You Think You Had The Worst Time of Your Life...

Just when we think we had the worst times in our lives....please reflect this:



Now....do you still think your life sucks? Thank God for each day that He gave us, because He would never give us something more than we could carry.

God Bless.