Things That You Don't Want To Hear From Your Ex

Yeah...they left and make another used-to-be-the-other-half feeling angry, broken-hearted, confused, hurt...so many mixed emotions. While the Dumpee was left wondering what happened, what went wrong and what to do with all the pieces that was left behind, owh...so the Dumper wants to leave some 'nice' words. How thoughtful.

Well...dear current Dumpers, serial Dumpers and Dumpers-will-be, there are many other ways on how to break up in a more civilised way...and here's a list of uh...stupid (well..no offence people, it's really sound stupid though - from my opinion) things that shouldn't be said because it will not only add more salt to the injury, it will prolong the healing process and yes, no one wants to be hated but yeah, this will make the Dumpee hates you Dumpers more.

"WE CAN STILL BE FRIENDS."

An all time classic.

The actual meaning behind this jurassic line might be:

1 - Dumper thinks that making friends with Dumpee with make things easier.


2 - Dumper didn't want Dumpee out from their lives, but they didn't want Dumpee IN their lives either (after all, that's why the break up happened at the first place, right?)


3 - Dumper wants to take advantage of Dumpee in some way (sex, influence, money, etc)

Note: Okay, some people do still be friends with their exes, but NOT ALL succeeded (Only few managed to pass out as friends). The best way is...wait until the pain subsides, emotionally 'stabilised', then being friends again...or else, better don't. Period.


"IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S ME..."

Huh? The Dumpee is already been up and down looking for an answer. This answer won't help, it will just confused them more. =.=


"I LOVE YOU STILL, BUT..."

Breaking up, but still loving them? Okay, so some Dumpers honestly really still loves the Dumpee. But then again, if you wanted to let go, this sentence is a BIG NO-NO. Most Dumpers think it's easier to use that phrase when leaving the Dumpee behind. Let me tell you this: It's not. Other phrases that shouldn't be use also includes:

"I will always love you.", "I'm always there for you.", "I have loved you so much.", "You will always be special to me." and so on. Does it make sense at all? Dumpees who heard those more heart breaking phrases will add another question to their already confused state by keep on asking the legitimate question "Then why he/she leaves me?"...So Dumpers, can you answer that without causing further damages?


"I AM NOT THE RELATIONSHIP TYPE."

Yeah...after like, 5 years being together? Now you are saying? It's not only done more damage like a slap on the face, it's like an insult.


"I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU..."

...and it continues with "...you deserve better than me." Sounds comforting. To some Dumpers it might applicable, but don't be happy yet...to others who planned or frequently 'abuse' this phrase...Dumpees beware, it might meant the opposite. Or, it's just a way to play with your mind to make you think that they are being noble enough to let you go..leaving them the 'heroic' impression. So not.


"I NEED TIME TO THINK."

...then comes with "I think we need a time out." In common cases this is a sign of cowardice. Dumpers planned to dump, but pulls the plug from behind. It's a way of postponing the problem, hoping that during those 'time out's, Dumpees will eventually find someone else and moved on, so Dumpers are not to take the blame for it. Smart.


"THAT'S LIFE!"

Yes, some Dumpers used this phrase. Dumpees didn't need you to remind them about it, especially when you are the one who cause the heartbreak at the first place, Dumbo!


"I REALLY DON'T WANT TO HURT YOU."

Yeah right. Dumpees felt it the most, okay. Sure you Dumpers didn't mean to break their hearts, but it can't be helped. They love you but had to let you go when you are asking for it. No matter how they tried to convince you that "It's okay", the heart is still breaking inside. Saying such words will only add the pain. You already did hurt them...so don't remind them again, will you?


"I AM SURE I WILL REGRET THIS."

Then why leave at the first place???? It might also gives the wrong idea for the Dumpee that it's some kind of hope is still there...for reconciliation. So the Dumper might just said it as an expression or something only at that moment, but the Dumpee, it will always be remembered.


"I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT."

"I don't know what I want, I am so confused now..." or "my life is in a total mess, that I can't think..." and same old phrases that relates to it. Sounds pitiful, doesn't it? Where's the logic when you don't know what you want, but asking for a break up?


Well Dumpers...perhaps those phrases are said with good intentions. But it's best to avoid it as it will only cause more harm to the Dumpees. For the Dumpees, if you heard those phrases, just ignore it...pick up the pieces and move on.

I understand that breaking up really do brings up lots of questions that left unanswered. You know what...some questions are best left as it is. The truth might set you free, but sometimes, it is best we leave it blank. You might not able to deal with the consequences once you found out - so don't bother to burden yourself with details. All that you know that it's over, and you need to start a new life.

Falling in love is never a decision but always by chance, staying in love is not a chance but by choice; and falling out of love is never a choice but a decision. Time can heal wounds, but it will not bring back what we once had and lost.



Note to readers: Did you have any proper 'words' to say to your ex during a break up...or did you ever heard of any words from you ex during your break up? Care to share?